Orientation is “the ability to locate oneself in one's environment with reference to time, place, and people; the ascertainment of one's true position, as in a novel situation, with respect to attitudes, judgments, etc.”
When one finds one’s self lost in the physical world, we are really saying we are not familiar with the environment, so we do not know where we are in relation to our surroundings. We must then do what? Orient ourselves—or re-orient ourselves. We think nothing of reorientation in this sense…but when it comes to our identity, it’s a whole new ballgame. In my own life, I once felt oriented to homosexuality but felt lost in that identity. So what did I do? I decided that I would re-orient myself.
We hear so much these days about a person’s sexual orientation - as if that is what defines us. If that were the case in my life, I would be defined as a homosexual, fearful, self-focused, raging lunatic…but none of those things defines me - even if I was oriented toward them. When I was a boy, I had a temper. At the smallest of perceived threat or perceived humiliation I would typically fly into a rage of angry outburst, lashing out at whomever happened to be in my path. If I did not get my way, I would turn red and shake with anger. My orientation was toward anger. My mom’s explanation - even when I was a boy - was that I came by it naturally! She told me on more than one occasion that my anger was in my blood due to my fiery red-headed great-grandparents! In no uncertain terms she was telling me this was my orientation!
As I grew older, I became intensely fearful of being rejected and made it a practice to go out of my way to ensure that people would like me; that I would be the best at everything so everyone would think highly of me. I was oriented to perform for the approval and acceptance of others, yet that approval-seeking orientation did not - and does not - define me.
During my entire childhood and well beyond my college years, I was oriented to be self-serving, self-seeking, and self-focused. Everything I did and portrayed myself to be was centered around - me - me and my wants and desires, often at the expense of others. This was my orientation, yet I am not defined as a self-centered person any longer.
Jesus Christ gave me a brand new identity and, in the process of my relationship with Him, showed me that I am not to be defined by my past failures, by my present circumstances, by whatever may tempt me, nor by the gay community. Only One gets to define me. My Maker. When I determined that God would be the one to define me, He quickly reminded me that my original orientation was toward sin…and my particular sin was the behavior of homosexuality - even if that orientation was not by my choice! You see, we do not get to choose what will tempt us, but in Jesus I have been given the grace to choose what is holy and righteous. Orientation does not define me. Never has. Never will.
My story is my story and my story is meant to condemn no other person, yet many call me a hater for saying I used to be gay but am no more…while applauding a man who says he is a woman trapped in a man’s body…while applauding anyone who comes out as gay. I’m not telling anyone they have to do anything. This is just my story…yet I am constantly condemned for coming out as straight! Who exactly is the hater? Just sayin’. I condemn no one, but God’s Word is clear when it comes to what He thinks of homosexual behavior. Here are just a few of the many verses in Scripture:
"Do not practice homosexuality; it is a detestable sin."
Leviticus 18:22, NLT
"If a man has sex with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is abhorrent."
Leviticus 20:13, Msg
"Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies...Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men...."
Romans 1:25-27, NLT
As a friend once told me, we can have comfort or we can have Truth. Only Truth sets us free. God’s Truth - not man’s truth. God does not call temptation sin. Jesus was tempted in every manner just as we are - yet without sinning! Therefore, temptation - be it homosexual or otherwise - does not equal sin. It is what we do with the temptation that determines if we sin or not. Follow the temptation. Sin. Find the way of escape. No sin.
“For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.”
Hebrews 4:15 NASB
This means that temptation does not define us! This also means that, since we were all born oriented to sin - that orientation does not define us either! That’s great news! That means if you are oriented to lying or stealing or slandering or harming others or alcohol or drugs or ‘you fill in the blank with whatever you’re oriented toward’ that you have been given a way out!
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13 NASB
Did you get that? God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able to bear, but makes a way of escape - always. But that way of escape comes via a relationship with Him. After the Lord set me free and gave me a brand new identity, the temptation did not suddenly cease in my life. If anything it intensified…but I began to take God at His Word and began to (still do) call out to Him whenever temptation would rear it’s ugly head. He began to remind me to respond out of my new creation nature and to see life from a new point of view. HIS point of view.
“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:1-2
I was born oriented to sin. True. But that orientation no longer defines me. Just like Lazarus, I walked out of my old dead life as alive as I could be in Jesus, but I was not as free as I was going to be. Jesus told those around the risen Lazarus to loose the grave-clothes from him. He had been bound up in the bindings of death. I did not want to be merely alive. I wanted to be free from my old orientations and from my old ways of thinking…and through a relationship with Jesus Christ, I was set free (and still in process!). Are you tired of being defined by your orientation or by your temptations? You can be free. Free to be who Father God has called you to be all along. Jesus Christ will meet you and love you right where you are…but the best news of all is that He loves you enough…to not leave you there. Seek Jesus for the answers you need.
The following are some tips and things you will need for the trip:
1. Map, GPS, personal guide, and roadside assistance, all in one: You will need a guide for your journey—and I have the most wonderful news! The Lord has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us through our spiritual journey. He is better than OnStar! He is always with us. Never sleeps. Never takes a break. We have but to acknowledge Him and He is ready and willing to meet whatever need we have! Walking in the power and filling of the Holy Spirit is like having the world’s best GPS and best roadside assistance possible. He is available day and night, twenty-four/seven. We have but to decide if we will trust Him or trust our feelings. He will never contradict the Word, while feelings often do!
2. Know your final destination: When taking a journey, we generally have a destination in mind. Our destination? Wholeness in Jesus. How do we get there? We seek Jesus and we follow the roadmap. What is our roadmap? The Word of God. When in doubt, go to the Word!
3. A traveling companion: The joy of getting there is in the journey—and every journey is made sweeter and joy made more tangible when we have someone to share it with. I know it is redundant, but we are never alone—even if we feel like it! And what do we do when our feelings are messing with our journey? We get to the Truth. And Jesus is the Truth.
4. Provisions: Heading out on our journey, we never know what we may encounter. We may find ourselves stranded by high water or deep snow. Regardless of what tries to hinder our journey, we must have provisions along the way. And guess what? Our traveling Companion is both food and drink! Jesus is the Bread of Life. Jesus is Living Water. We but need to eat and drink of His presence whenever our soul is hungry or thirsty.
5. Extra fuel: From time to time, we will grow tired and weary in the journey, but, again, our Companion provides the filling of power and He even provides rest as we undertake whatever leg of the journey we find ourselves on.
"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” —Jesus (Matthew 11:29–30)
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)
5. Extra fuel: From time to time, we will grow tired and weary in the journey, but, again, our Companion provides the filling of power and He even provides rest as we undertake whatever leg of the journey we find ourselves on.
6. Keep your eyes on the road: While that goes without saying, we need to remember one of the ploys of the enemy is to try and get us focused on the failures of our past. To live our lives according to our past failures is equivalent to driving down the road by looking in the rearview mirror. Doing so leads to nothing but disaster! We use the rearview mirror simply to glance back occasionally to help us keep our bearings. This reminds us of how far we have come and helps us stay oriented on the Truth!
7. Good music: When Melinda and I travel, we often put on the music of 2nd Chapter of Acts and Keith Green—and sing! There is nothing like worshiping Jesus and singing as if no one is listening to cover the sometimes tedious parts of the journey with sheer joy. Worship helps us maintain our focus on Truth. Truth always set us free and takes our eyes off of us. Sing your way to Truth and to freedom.
8. Do not fear the side trips: Life has a way of taking us down unexpected roads. Rather than dread such momentary side trips, why not turn the point of view around to put on a heart of adventure? Unexpected circumstances are simply opportunities to watch God come through! It is the little spontaneous adventures that often lead to the grandest of vistas and deepest release of joy.
9. Expect grand vistas: The first time I saw the Grand Canyon with my children took my breath away. It was so massive my human brain could not fathom what I was seeing, which made me think I was seeing a grand panoramic painting! As my children stood their mouths agape at the splendor, my heart was ravished with deep joy at sharing this unexpected splendor with those I love most. Our attitude, when traveling with the children, was to make each and every experience the children had a learning experience if possible, regardless of how mundane or non-special the landscape might appear.
You can ALWAYS get off the merry-go-round
Dennis Jernigan
Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2020/03/02/16/19/vintage-4896141_1280.jpg