When I was first diagnosed with Parkinson's, I had an honest to goodness crisis of faith. I found myself being bombarded with thoughts and feelings that were all over the spiritual map of my life. It took me quite a while before I was able to re-orient myself to what I consider to be true North.
I questioned whether I was a good husband or not. I questioned whether I had been a good dad to my children or not. I questioned whether I was a good grandfather to my grand children or not. I even questioned whether I was a real man or not.
Then, believe it or not, I went through a period in which I found myself unable to feel guilt or shame or even joy or happiness. I just felt - nothing. Parkinson’s just has a funny way of playing with one's mind and it took me a while to figure out just what that looked like for me. I found myself juxtaposed between scattered feelings of all manner and no feelings whatsoever. Talk about confusion! I honestly did not know what to do, but I knew what true North was for me, and true north for me is Jesus Christ. So, I did the only thing I knew to do. And what was that?
When I don't know what to do, I always go back to the basics of my faith. This simply involves me saying to my own soul, out loud if necessary, what the foundational truths of my life are. Regardless of whether I feel anything at all when I make these statements, they have a way of anchoring my mind to truth into reality and have a way of bringing peace to my mind. Here are just a few of the foundational statements I proclaim to my own heart and mind:
Jesus Christ is the rock of my salvation.
Jesus Christ took my sin upon himself, went to the cross, died for me, shed his blood for me, and rose again to bring me a resurrection power is a new creation in Christ.
I choose to fix my eyes and my thoughts on Jesus Christ.
I am never alone because God is always with me.
God's grace is sufficient for me regardless of my circumstances.
When I was born again I was given the mind of Christ. I can choose to think the thoughts of a new creation in spite of my circumstances.
I am loved in spite of my failures.
I am loved in spite of what the world thinks of me.
I am not defined by my past failures.
I'm defined by my Maker and by Him alone.
God has sent his Holy Spirit to comfort to me in my sorrow.
He has empowered me to be an Overcomer.
Whether I live or whether I die, I will be with the Lord, so what's the worst thing that can happen?
Either way, I am with Jesus. When life leaves me disoriented, I have but to look to Jesus and regain my bearings in spite of my circumstances.
Last but not least, I choose to worship Jesus in spite of my circumstances because I know God inhabits the praises of his people.
I have only touched the tip of the iceberg concerning the truths I speak to my own heart and mind when I face periods of confusion or chaos or calamity in my own life. The bottom line is this: I do not plan times of confusion or chaos or calamity, but I have a plan set in place just in case I encounter them, and my plan simply requires me fixing my eyes on Jesus and speaking truth to my own mind. When you don’t know what to do, just go back to the basics. It can be the difference between chaos and peace. I encourage you to choose peace. Now go and give yourself a good old-fashioned talking to…and expect Jesus to meet you there.
Dennis Jernigan
Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2017/11/13/22/12/compass-2946958_1280.jpg