I am so excited to share the story behind the song, Atom Bomb, from my new album called, Sanctuary, yet hesitant at the same time. It is a difficult song to sing because it brings up hurtful memories for me but, at the same time, it brings much inner healing. This song came to me just a couple of weeks before Christmas on December 9, 2021. The story behind the song is one of shattered dreams and broken hearts and came on the heels of the diagnosis of Parkinson’s I had received less than 2 years earlier.
You know, as I reflect back on the events that inspired this track, I can practically feel the weight of those shattered dreams, the heaviness of those broken hearts. It's as if the very air around us has been charged with an electric current of emotion - one moment serene and peaceful, the next, rocked by the tremors of life's most devastating blows.
Just imagine the scene: your dear friend, watching helplessly as her mother slips away, the grief palpable, the sorrow etched into every crease of her face. And then, the unimaginable news of a child violated, the shame and fear paralyzing her, leaving her feeling utterly alone. It's enough to make your heart ache, isn't it?
And then, as if that weren't enough, the news of a family torn apart, a grandchild lost, the finality of that decision reverberating through their lives like the shockwave of an atom bomb. You can almost hear the cries of anguish, see the tears streaming down their faces, can't you?
It's in the midst of these earth-shattering moments that we find ourselves questioning everything - our faith, our purpose, our very identity. How could a good God allow such pain to infiltrate the lives of those we love? Where is the hope, the refuge, the intimacy we so desperately crave?
But you know, my friends, even in the darkest of valleys, even when the bombs of life seem to be raining down all around us, there is one truth that remains steadfast: God wastes nothing. Not our sorrows, not our wounds, not even our failures. Instead, He takes those shattered pieces and weaves them into a tapestry of redemption, a masterpiece of grace.
And it is with that unwavering hope that we press on, trusting that the One Who holds the universe in the palm of His hand will guide us through, will carry us when we can no longer walk. For when we find our refuge in Him, we discover that there is no challenge too great, no obstacle too daunting, for the one who makes even the demons tremble at the sound of His name.
So, let's dive in, shall we? Let's unpack the story behind this powerful song and see how the God of all comfort can transform our deepest wounds into sources of unshakable strength. I can't wait to share this journey with you.
During the same period of time we heard the aforementioned stories from heartbroken friends, Melinda and I received some devastating news of our own just 2 weeks before Christmas. Can you just imagine the look on our faces, the pain etched into every feature, as someone we hold very dear renounced their faith in the very God we'd built our life upon? It felt like the foundations of our world were crumbling beneath our feet, leaving us grasping for any semblance of stability. The weight of those words were utterly crushing, like a punch to the gut that left us breathless and reeling.
And then, to have that news delivered in such a matter-of-fact, out-of-the-blue way - it's no wonder it felt so life-shattering. If I were taking to you right now, the tremor you would hear in my voice, the crack of emotion, is not due to Parkinson’s. As I tell this story I am still trying to process the magnitude of what was said. It's as if the very air in the room has been sucked out, leaving me struggling to catch my breath.
But amidst the devastation, the glimmer of hope that our relationship remains intact - that is truly a lifeline. A reminder that even in the midst of the storm, there is still light to be found, still reasons to cling to. It's as if you can feel that thread of connection, that unwavering bond, keeping me tethered to the one I love, no matter how turbulent the waters may become.
And then, just when I thought I couldn't bear another blow, the news of my nephew's brain tumor - it's enough to make my heart sink, to have that familiar ache of grief well up within me once more. The thought of my brother, already reeling from the loss of his wife, now facing the possible loss of his only son - it was almost too much to bear. Even now, saying those words causes my hands to tremble as my mind tries to process this latest devastating development.
But then, the glimmer of hope - the successful surgery, the benign diagnosis, the possibility of a better future. It's as if the clouds had parted, and a ray of sunshine had broken through, illuminating the path forward. Our family breathed a collective sigh of relief, the sense of renewed energy and purpose, as my nephew embarked on his road to recovery, transformed in ways I never could have imagined.
When we encounter various trials and the emotions that go with them that threaten to overwhelm us, the rawness of those emotions, the vulnerability of those moments - it's enough to make your heart ache, isn't it? The harsh words spoken, the wounds inflicted, the fear and anxiety that seem to permeate every corner of your life. It's as if you can practically feel the weight of it all bearing down on you, crushing the very breath from your lungs.
And in the midst of that devastation, that sense of utter hopelessness, the questions that plague your mind - how can one possibly hold on to their faith when it feels like everything has been reduced to rubble, like the debris of an atom bomb has been scattered all around you? It's enough to make you want to curl up and hide, to shut out the world and all its pain.
But then, you remember - you have a safe place to fall apart, a refuge in the arms of the One who knows you better than you know yourself. You can almost feel the warmth of His embrace, the gentle whispers of reassurance that wash over you, reminding you that your identity, your very worth, is not defined by the circumstances that seek to destroy you, but by the unwavering love of the God who created you.
In those moments when the world seems to be crumbling all around you, you have the steadfast truth to cling to - that your God is with you, that He loves you, and that He will never waste the pain you endure. It's as if you can feel the weight of those words, the power behind them, like a soothing balm for your weary soul.
And it is from that place of unshakable faith, that wellspring of hope, that you find the strength to pour out your heart, to give voice to the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. The words of the song that came out of these events, they're like a lifeline, a beacon in the darkness, offering solace to those who find themselves in the midst of their own devastating "atom bomb" moments.
My friend, in these times of shattering, when it feels like everything has been destroyed, may you find comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone. That the God who holds the universe in the palm of His hand is the same God who holds you, who weeps with you, who promises to make all things new. For it is in the darkest valleys that the light of His love shines the brightest, guiding us home, restoring us, and reminding us that He truly does waste nothing.
In the midst of these emotional atom bombs, these earth-shattering moments that leave us questioning everything, it is in these very trials that we find the opportunity to deepen our trust, to strengthen our faith, to discover the unshakable refuge that can only be found in the arms of our Savior. For it is in the darkest valleys that the light of His love shines the brightest, guiding us through the storm and into the promise of a brighter tomorrow.
I cherish the comfort and reassurance found in those timeless words from Romans 8:28 - “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to [His] purpose.” The Word of God is like a warm embrace, wrapping us in the promise that even in the midst of the most devastating circumstances, our God is at work, weaving together a tapestry of redemption and restoration. I hope you can feel the weight of that truth, the solidity of it, as it settles deep within your soul. I encourage you to take a few minutes and listen to the song, “Atom Bomb”, and lay your broken heart and all your burdens at His feet.
Dennis Jernigan
To hear The Dennis Jernigan Podcast version of this blog, go to http://podcast.dennisjernigan.com/e/atom-bomb/
Photo Courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2012/11/28/09/32/explosion-67557_1280.jpg