When I was a young man, God used my first years away from home to “force” me to seek Him…to get either hot or cold…to get saved! In those days I was so disillusioned regarding my song writing abilities and so devoid of any inkling of an idea of God’s great love for.
Still, I wrote songs. I reasoned that, even of no one else liked them, they seemed to help me keep my sanity. I felt absolutely lost concerning my identity and absolutely incapable of being loved by God or anyone else. One song in particular came to me during a time of desperation, having come to a place of darkness in which I felt there was no return for me…that I was too far fallen…far too lost to ever be found.
In the music hall of the university I was attending one could find me on almost any given time of night or day. When ever I had the chance, I would find one of the small rooms with a piano in it and pour out my heart to God in song. More often than not, I felt I was writing for someone else. I found I could easily write these words to encourage others concerning God’s great love for them, but I didn’t really believe that He loved me this way!
One song in particular came during the fall of 1978 one night in that little music hall. It was the story song I now call ‘Sheep Song’ and was basically the story of the good shepherd leaving the flock to go in search of the one lost sheep. I was the lost sheep in the song, but honestly felt it was a song to encourage others with the love of God I could never seem to fathom possible for myself. I didn’t know that He could cleanse me the way He would in 1981!
That year - 1981 - after graduation from the university, some very special friends found out about my past - my hidden failures and shame - and I was devastated. As I ran from the house and into the night after their kind confrontation, it dawned on me to ask myself, “Where am I running to?” The next words out of my mouth were, “Lord, if You are real, I need to hear from You right now.” And then He spoke…
It was a moonlit night with only a couple of clouds in the sky. One cloud looked to be in the shape of an old man with a beard. It was as if I was looking at a kind, old shepherd. Another nearby cloud took on the shape of a little lamb. Right before my very eyes, the kind shepherd cloud engulfed the lamb cloud as if embracing the lamb in his arms.
It was in that moment that I realized this was God ‘speaking’ to me…that He was the Shepherd and I was the lamb…and He had come looking to find…me!
John 10:3, 7-11, 27-30 NASB
3 "To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep listen to his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ... 7 So Jesus said to them again, "Truly, truly I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 "All those who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life, and have [it] abundantly. 11 "I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. ... 27 "My sheep listen to My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; 28 and I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. 29 "My Father, who has given [them] to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch [them] out of the Father's hand. 30 "I and the Father are one.”
If you find yourself floundering around in the darkness and chaos of the world, I encourage you to call out to Jesus and trust Him to be your Shepherd - the Good Shepherd - Who only wants what is best for His sheep. If you need reminding of what that looks like, just take a few minutes and read Psalm 23 today. In fact, why don’t we read it right now:
Psalm 23:1-6 NASB
1 A Psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd,
I will not be in need.
2 He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For the sake of His name.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
6 Certainly goodness and faithfulness will follow me all the days of my life,
And my dwelling [will be] in the house of the LORD forever.
One thing that has kept me seeking Jesus all these years is the fact that He first sought me! He never stopped pursuing me! I did not find Jesus. Jesus found me. I was the lost one…and He searched for me for years and through the darkness of my depravity and met me right where I was…and carried me into the lush, green pastures of His massive love. Let Him do the same for you today.
Dennis Jernigan
To hear The Dennis Jernigan Podcast version of this blog and to hear Sheep Song, go to https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ey6z8-1357744
Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2018/06/03/10/31/religion-3450127_1280.jpg